Recant

Recant: Formally reject or disavow a formerly held belief

Has he come yet? Who? The one who will save us from this interminable damnation. He who is foretold in all of the prophecies young and old who will shine holy fire to those who so go against his word. Have you no word of him? He is told to come, I know it, I believe it, everyone so believes it, and so, it must be true. He will save us from this painful existence, and he will bring us to salvation, if not him, then who? I will wait for all that is good in this world until he who is destined to save us descend upon this mortal realm. When is he coming? I have waited all my life for him, and yet, he has not  come. We have waited patiently for his arrival. Will he not come answer our prayers? Where is he? It can’t be, he will come. We will wait, until the day we die. Has he come yet? Is that so? We will wait, until the very last breath we take, to see him save our souls from this place of rot. It is so that he will never come. I can see that now. No matter how long we wait, he will not save us from this existence. We will die in peace.

Recalcitrant

Recalcitrant: Stubbornly resistant to authority or control

I’m a run-on sentence, which means that if I don’t create new words, I’ll eventually stop, but, grammatically, I’m the worst enemy of every high school teacher and the demise of every university student, and by all means, despite how tiring it might be to have a person read me with all of the haughtily placed punctuations to continue my existence, I am grateful that I can exist as an entity, after all, run-on sentences aren’t always the enemy to all literary mankind, no, there are many instances where a run-on sentence can be quite useful, for example, if one were to need to indicate a stream of consciousness then of course a run-on sentence would be used since a stream of consciousness is just that a stream of consciousness and nothing more nothing less it’s a collection of words and things that come together to try and string a cohesive thought and nothing less raw and more stringent can perfectly encapsulate what it is to be a human than the chaos and rush of a run-on sentence so much so that if I were to ever find myself in the bounds of a period I would hate it to the point or rebelling against the one who created me.

Quash

Quash: Put down by force or intimidation

Get your damn hands down! Okay, that didn’t work. Get on your damn knees, grovel to the floor, and make sure you don’t look up! No, he’s still looking. Okay. I’m going to count to three, and if you’re not kissing that dirt then you’re going to be in big trouble. One. Two. Three. I just looked silly. Damn it kid if you were my own son, I’d disown you! What?  What’d you say? You’d just kill yourself!? That’s drastic. Okay, last warning, are you going to come here, or not? It wasn’t the last warning. Christ kid, how far up is that stick you got? Damn job isn’t paying me enough. Look, I’m being paid by the hour, and, you’re wasting daylight by the hour. We’ve got a mutual understanding on that, but, if I don’t get you in there, I’m the one who’s out a job. Hell, I’d rather not be working this anyway. Maybe I’ll just let the kid go. Now that’ll be a story. Seriously, I’m authorized to use blunt trauma, you really don’t want to tread down this road, kid. I hate having to do this. You forced me. Sweet dreams idiot.

Quaff

Quaff: To swallow hurriedly or greedily or in one draught

There wasn’t any room for mistake, and there sure as hell wasn’t any room to wait. My boys behind me were clattering there feet to and fro the counter and to the car we had parked just out the door. We blew the cameras out first thing we got in, and checked the entire premise for any loose guards. It was like stealing candy from a baby, except, there was no joy in seeing anyone cry. The night was going to be a long one and the city seemed to be in a deep sleep. We had finally hit a gold mine, except there was no room for mistake, or to wait, and yet, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of the manager’s forgotten sandwich just sitting at the counter. Everyone told me to hurry on with it and to start moving green, but, I hadn’t eaten dinner in preparation to the hit. I was chosen to stake out the place, and, to be frank, I wished I had eaten steak. It gnawed at me the entire day, the manager left his food on the counter, and never returned to get it. And, standing face to face with it then, it took every ounce of my will power to stave off that temptation. The thing is, we were flawless in what we did. We pick locked the doors, shot out the cameras, and we’re all fitted in black masks and gloves. We’re practically untraceable, not a single hair in sight. But the moment I go for that sandwich, I know I’ll lose myself and I’ll blow our cover. And so, as we were leaving the store, I grabbed the damn sandwich, ran out of the store as fast as I could and wolfed the bloody thing down in a single chew. Hardest job of my life.

Paucity

Paucity: An insufficient quantity or number

There is a shortage of. A dearth of. A minuscule amount. Too little. Not enough. We need more. That’s only a fraction of what we need. That’s a minute amount. Half empty. Half full. Requiring more. That stock is too tiny. What we need is lowering.  Gather more. Our shares are plummeting. The world’s water supply is growing short. Our stocks are short. That’s it? That’s barely a pint. Error, please input a value greater than zero. You can’t pay? The mortgage is killing you? The taxes aren’t high enough? Oh, no, it is. We don’t have enough funding? The fundraiser won’t go through? Not enough people registered? There isn’t enough land? There isn’t enough crops? What do you mean not everyone will have a home? We won’t make it to mars?   How much heads do they want? We won’t be able to make it anyway, we’re not killers. We won’t make the play offs? They don’t have enough starters? At first, there weren’t enough examples for the point to be made, and as thus, I guess you could say, that when I first began this thing, there was a paucity of examples.

Palliative

Palliative:  Moderating pain or sorrow by making it easier to bear

What are you doing? Cutting away half your heart. Why would you do that? So that I can share half a heart with you. Why would that be necessary? So that the tears you cry, and the screams that erupt no longer feel as full. You’re going to cut away half my heart to do that? Is it too much? No. No, it’s fine, but, that means you’ll feel half of the urges. The urges? Along with my dismay, you’ll have to experience with me everything that I experience. That means, whenever I’m sad, or angry, or want to shove a knife down my throat, you’ll have to suffer through the same emotions. It won’t be that bad. It’ll only be half. You’ll have to live every single day in complete agony as your mind will tell you things that you’ll never want to hear. Is that how it is with you? Yes. It is. I’ve always been alone like this, feeling like the world has its shoulders on me, crushing my bones. Now, it’ll crush both of us. Exactly, so you– But, that’s how science works. You spread force across a larger surface and the damage is lessened. You’re the first person to ever help me. I won’t be the last. How can you be so sure? Because half of a half, isn’t so bad.

Obloquy

Obloquy: State of disgrace resulting from public abuse

I trudged my way through the streets with marks of red lining my entire body. With every step I took I felt like my feet were melting into the pavement. My entire body yearned to have it be melded into the very Earth it stood upon for it no longer wanted to be known. I began to lose myself in a world that only existed within me and was only brought out by the sounds of cars and rushing civilians. With every pair of eyes that found its way onto my body I began to sink deeper and deeper within my own mind, trying to find a place of sanctum. My breathing began fluctuating, and my body threatened to break out of its mold and find itself as a shell of indetermination shaped only by the thralls of everyone around me.  I reached over to the red marks that lined my body. They stung in the warm embrace of my fingers, and yet, when I focused long enough, the marks disappeared. They disappeared in the whispers and stares of those around me, and they disappeared in the air of humanity that flew from point a to b. I sighed and began fingering a hole in my jacket, scoffed at the dusty smell that lingered on my person, and began to walk towards the nearest restaurant.

Obfuscate

Obfuscate: Make obscure or unclear

What did he say? You don’t know? Why don’t you know?  You can’t say? Is it good? Or is it bad? You don’t know? Well, is it good in terms of the situation? Good? Then that’s good. But it still isn’t that good, right? I guess not. It’s pretty bad then, if he can’t stand up. His legs? Oh yeah…And his arms too right? I don’t know, it was pretty dark out. Lights? Out. Twenty, twenty five, yeah, something like that. Drunk? Not really, it was a hour on the dot, I watched the hand. Yeah, the other man bit the dust. He was going fifty-five, drunk as all hell. To the left, we dodged a bullet but ate a rock. It’s fine, no need, you said it’s good right? Yeah, I mean, we probably don’t need to worry about that. I contacted them, they’re more worried about this than the war. I know, thank god. Do you know when he’ll be able to move? I guess not.

Noetic

Noetic: Of or associated with or requiring the use of the mind

Do you know why gods exist? What do you mean? I mean why religion exists, why we create gods and why we choose to believe in them. I’ve never been one for religion, so I can’t really say. Well, let me tell you something then. Gods exist because we exist, sound simple enough? Yeah, I’d say that’s common sense. Well, then how about this, god exists because we require someone to lead us. Okay, I mean that also makes sense. Now consider this, god exists because we not only require someone to lead us, we require someone to give us faith. Sure, faith is a good thing. Right, faith is a really good thing, but why god? Why god? Yeah, why did we go towards a being that we can’t see or feel, a being that is magical, and not something normal? Normal? Yeah, like crops, or animals. Crops and animals are part of religious ceremony yes, but gods are always attached. Exactly, we give our offerings, we give what we make to people who we create in our heads. Well, it’s not like we give a lot. You’re right, we only offer a little of what we make so that we can survive, but let me ask you one more thing. Okay. If there was a god, then why hasn’t he shown us any appreciation? Well, that’s just semantics. For all we know, our gods are our kings, presidents and queens, and yet we treat them as poorly as we do our criminals. I mean, that’s an exaggeration. It’s not an exaggeration when we can barely stand who rules over us, our bosses, our parents, is it not the same?

Niggle

Niggle: Worry unnecessarily or excessively

Am I going to pass? Am I working hard enough?  Am I pretty enough? Am I good enough? Am I going to have a future? Am I going to find love? Am I going to be able to find something that I want to do? Do I have enough money? Do I have enough friends? Do I have enough passion? Do I have enough socks? Do I have enough clothes? Do I have enough sleep? Do I have enough worries in my life? Do I have enough paper? Do I have enough medicine? Should I try harder? Should I wear something longer? Should I cut my hair? Should I go out? Should I try and find love? Should I ask for help? Should I show my emotions? Should I stay in? Should I tell him? How can I improve? How can I get more sleep? How can I get better marks? How can I overwork myself to death? How can I find something I love? How can I find someone I love? How can I lose sleep? How can I break myself? How can I take my life and turn it into brittle glass? How can I lose my depression?